Wedding Day ~ Two Pictures

A family member
did all of our
flowers.

 

I did not know what my bouquet would look
like until right before my wedding.
It could not of been better.
I carried a small white
Bible in
honour of my Grandma
who carried one
in her wedding.
*
It was so wonderful to wear her dress.

Wedding Prep--the Fun Part!

Something fun that one of my
good friends and I have been doing
this summer is finding
makeup for my wedding.
This friend is going to do my makeup
for the wedding
and I must admit,
I have had fun doing this
and trying new things.
*
One of my other church friends
told me via email about a store
where I can get all I need for reception
decorations.
I am so relieved.
Hope to go there this week,
though I think I may have to return
again next week as well...

Family Bridal Shower

The shower was at my Aunt's house.
She has a house in the country;
it is still and quiet there.

 
The best gift was in the basket -
cards with recipes and advice
on marriage for me
from everyone there.
I have read through them and
treasure them.
My Grandma Ruth and her sister,
my Great Aunt,
were there and
it was such a special time.

This was the centre piece.
Unbeknownst to me,
it was also part of the gift
from my Aunt who hosted the
shower for me.
*
I have promised pictures of DV
dinner parties
using this beautiful floating candle holder!

Day 1 in late June

Gifts from my family
and friends of family
arrived.

Ribbons and wrapping.

I have a few very close woman-friends
and one of them told me about
these dishes.

I love them.
Orthoman and I picked out the colour - ivory.
Unpacked, washed and used
for last night's dinner.
*
Best part of dinner:
guacamole made with
1 avocado
salt
pepper
lemon juice.

Counting down the days

 

88 days until our wedding.
This podcast is short and a good
beginning in understanding
what marriage is and can be.

Pentecost Eve

 

Vespers and litiya tonight.
So wonderful to see everything in Green...
*
I miss my Orthoman;
we talk daily.
He with the help of family is making ready
our new home.
*
I plan on God willing
bringing a few icons and family pictures next time I go
so that I have some familiar things
in my DV future home.
*
It is exciting to put together the new place.
*
I still have a lot to do for the wedding.
Have not done much more on the moving logistics.
Lots to do.
Tomorrow is Pentecost.
I am really looking forward to this.
*
May our hearts be open to receive
the Holy Spirit
again, afresh, anew;
all can be awash in green
and in the new life that Christ gives.
May it be so.

Family in Dutch West Michigan

This is a restaurant that is full of many people,
including many Dutch.
It's affordable,
has a lot of hot meals that are
more home style in approach.
I love it and was so glad my Mom and cousins
were willing to go there with me.
*
My Grandpa loved their hot turkey sandwich
and I think also their chicken dinner with
mashed potatoes.
*
My Mom Cousin and I all had the hot turkey sandwich
and sweet potato fries.
Very yummy!

We went to Dutch Village in Holland Michigan.
This is where we got the costumes for the kids
to wear in the wedding.
It was so nice to visit.
A great place to bring kids
as they have a small petting zoo and other
attractions.

 

It was a special time and
holds a lot of significance for me
as my Orthoman and I prepare for
our future;
somehow being with my family
is part of that transition.

It fits!

 

My Mom and I went over and
got my Grandma's wedding dress.
*
It is beautiful.
*
It is like a light satin gold.
*
And it fits me perfectly.
*
Only some small changes are needed.
*
The wonderfulness of it is nearly
overwhelming;
somehow being a bride is something
that takes a long time to realize it is happening.
I
God willing
 will be wearing my
Grandma's wedding dress,
like I always dreamed of doing.

Step by step

I visited my future parish again.
They are very welcoming.
*
The weather here was wonderful.
Sunny, warm, blue skies.
*
I love the drive to church
as we go through beautiful
green countryside.

Clearing

 
I've been down South for a week now.
We are busy planning our new home and
making way for what will come
after the wedding
and I come to make this new apartment
my home.
*
We survived way too many hours in a big IKEA
yesterday and got a lot accomplished.
 We are getting this great second buffet

and we talk about where our new

Rushnyks will go. 

*

I remember talking to a friend years ago

that it takes a good 3 years or more to rebuild community

after one moves to a new place.

*

I am dreaming of new glass bread pans for 

sweet breads 

(Dutch Koek, Cranberry bread, etc.)

but my friends I know in Ottawa

will not be here to eat it with me.

*

After the wedding we will plunge into Autumn

and I don't even know when I will return to visit Ottawa.

I really appreciated Anna B.'s post 

that is part of a writer's essay on

happiness and grief.

I appreciated the freedom it encouraged to 

know that somethings we don't 'get over' as much

as have the mark of the loss with us

and that somehow this can expand instead of diminish us.

I really don't see a way to prepare more 

than I already am 

for the shock of leaving my whole world behind.

It seems that it is just something that

one does and lives and prays through.

And God knows that I have it easy

in so many ways.

*

My new church community is gracious and welcoming.

Orthoman is kind and gentle.

We are growing as a couple as the days go on

and we know we are learning a new

beautiful dance that 

we will do together as 

we continue to prepare

for this great sailing adventure

called marriage 

and building a family of two

with God making three. 

all things new

 

It's nice to be engaged.
I keep looking at my ring,
like I am sure a lot of woman do when
newly engaged to be married.
It's still hard to imagine that this is all real.
So much to process and do.
It's funny how the engagement ring looks
in a way, so young.
As in I am so aware that it is so new;
the phrase
the newness of our love
is one that is with me often.
Engaged, not yet married; not yet a newlywed.
Thin band on finger with small sparkly diamond;
new, the symbol of dreams, hopes and plans.
The congratulations after vespers today from
some dear church family
is something I hold dear to my heart.
I can't imagine leaving them
yet I am growing in my excitement for this
new unexpected adventure.

Holy Wednesday

I made my cake for my Orthoman.
He pronounced it a success.

*
We prayed together for
my beloved priest
to St. Nectarios
and this was a comfort.
*
Now if only my insomnia would cease.
I am praying meanwhile
that I will have peace from Christ
and help from His Mother.

Soon

It is almost Holy Week.
Orthoman comes Holy Wednesday.
I am making a cake.
My kitchen is a disaster.
The sun shone today.
There was a chrismation this afternoon.
I'm having insomnia again.
I know that the joy and happiness in life
is fleeting and I pray that
Orthoman and I can be protected
when we go through
times that are more painful
than the current
albeit overwhelming and insomnia-inducing
time of hope and joy.
I know for every hilltop
there are valleys on either side.
But I also know that Christ is with us
in those times of dark valleys.

Jottings: Cater Met

Wedding planning can be stressful!
I am glad to know that we are surrounded
by a great cloud of witnesses.

We got the basic menu down
today with the cater
but I still have more to research.

I meet the wedding decorator on Monday.
Once I know all of these factors,
then I can begin the
work of officially inviting
family and friends.

Gifts given to me

My favourite tree
where my Orthoman
and I went last autumn.
On a wildly warm October weekend
in Ottawa.
*
I would just like to say that
I am still often in shock
that my Orthoman
consistently
loves and cares
for me.
*
That he is kind, considerate
and always takes time
for me.
*
Truly
I have been given a gift
that I never dreamed I would have
but now I dream of
making a beautiful life...
I pray one that brings salvation...

Jottings: Photographer

 

It feels like such a huge step:
I have almost 100% secured the photographer
for the wedding.
I am excited about the one I have found
as I know that the committment to
beauty, art, goodness and the church
are all there.

Two Weeks

Two weeks until
my Orthoman is here again.
Two weeks and it will be
Holy Week.
May God bring us to this Week of Weeks. 

Notes to remember Part 2: happiness

 

After vespers tonight
I was talking with two of the
younger girls in my parish
who know the Ukrainian caters in town.
They were so excited to hear
about the one I am meeting God willing
soon and that they love her food.
Such a happy moment.
I am grateful.

Realizations, Learning and Living

As I transitioned from doing more
than flipping my whole life upside down
by marrying and moving
within months,
to a 5 day a week contract job
plus all else I was doing
my level of stress
and managing more exceptions
and trying to wade through them all
was getting to be quite difficult
for me.


I can't do it all.
There are situations where one has
no choice and then there
are some where one has a choice.

 

I really appreciated this post by

Katherine

as she realized what she can and can't do.

*

I realized and so did Orthoman that

I would burn out if I continued at the pace

I had been going at. So...

*

I stayed home today.

I am going to bake my cake.

I am going to church.

I am going to renegotiate with my work to

cut it down for the next while to 4 days a week.

*

I meet with the cater next week.

I love my God willing future

 photographer

who I talked to on the phone last night.

I see a woman about helping me

decorate the reception hall in

about two weeks.

I cannot put these things off or

reschedule.

*

I will be traveling a lot in May.

Most likely once in June

and once in July.

Moving Cleo and belongings

sometime after July.

Marrying after August.

*

It is a daily and weekly effort to figure out

what is working and what is not

in terms of planning,

health and well-being

and new-life

building.

So today I accomplished

something unexpected

and something that brought some

order, peace and balance 

to my life.

*

See that coffee table?

It's empty save the books.

See the bags on the shelves?

Bagged books waiting

to be given away.

*

This whole figuring out what to do

what I can and can't do

and how to communicate it

is at times very tiring

but with God's mercy

I will be able

to continue to do just that.

Towards the Cross

 

Very quietly
I am recording services at my church.
I love the Soul Saturdays
during Lent
where we will have a Panakhyda
in late morning.
Years ago,
I was the only Anglophone
who would be there
and the service
would be
be in Slavonic.
This is how I learned the service.
When I had a Panakhyda
for my beloved childhood friend
Timothy
almost 5 years ago
on his 20th anniversary
of his falling asleep
I had some of it sung in Slavonic.
This to me speaks the language
of grief, mourning and hope in Christ
like no other
and no other voice than my
spiritual father singing it.
*
I listened to the recording tonight
relieved that it turned out
and that I have so many of the people's voices
there singing their parts.
*
My next church with Orthoman
is Slavic in background
but mainly uses English and
find myself
while happily making
wedding plans
wondering how I will ever leave Ottawa
and what will I do with out the language of grief
and the Church that is the jewel of my heart,
where God formed me for
God willing
by the time I marry
for seven years.
Seven hard but very beautiful years.
*
Explaining to my deacon's wife
why I hope to get a decorator
as I will get married in my church
DV by my spiritual father
and future parish priest
I will be prayed for,
loved and rejoiced with;
marry, go on a short trip with Orthoman
and then suddenly
be in a whole new state of being
married,
and I will have left Ottawa,
my city, my country and
most of all my church family.
This part I cannot comprehend
and find it really hard to live with
such great joy and hope and at the same time
such great grief.
*
Writing/blogging about it helps.
Also, knowing that
as my Orthoman's spiritual father said
I am not leaving my church family
but merely extending it
to include more.
And thank God that my future parish is kind
and I know ultimately that I will
God willing
find mercy, comfort and
be able to continue to strive
to work out my salvation.
But right now I can't comprehend it
and am so glad that I have this short time
to try to prepare best I can
rejoicing, grieving and praying.
*
I am so glad for technology and that I can listen
to my spiritual father sing
the Panakhyda in Slavonic and English.
*
Tomorrow is the Sunday of the Cross
and I am decorating our church Cross for one last time
with red roses and fragrant basil.